To Audition or not to audition?

Hands up if you have ever woken up in the middle of the night the day before an audition and felt sick as a dog!?! I mean, raging temperature, cold sweats, shaking body, the whole bit…Well I have…Recently actually. This is the dilemma, no matter how sick you are, you are not supposed to tell audition panels this. I mean, you can be dying, but you can’t say anything. So, do you:

a)    Miss out altogether and hope that another audition just like this one is right around the corner?

b)    Go and hope that you don’t die along the way?

This is the dilemma I recently found myself in. So what was my inner monologue telling me to do??? Well it was back and forth…(you can’t go, they are going to think you suck, you have to go or you will miss this fantastic opportunity, but what if….you get the general idea)!

So, I went. To be truthful, I had two auditions for the same company a couple of hours apart and I missed the first one but went to the second one and here is how it went…

I basically talked to myself the whole car ride there and said, “Lea, you can do this….It is only 30seconds worth of a song, you can do this”. And I psyched myself into it. So there I am waiting to walk in the door with this huge belty song and I go in and they are absolutely lovely and I think, yes, I can do this! So I do…I belted the crap out of that song, as best I could. When it was over, the panel were laughing (it was a funny song, they weren’t laughing at me) and were like, wow…Which is the reaction you want. So I am feeling pretty proud of myself but it is at this point that my body decides it can’t take any more. I am stuffed. Every little bit of my energy went into the song. Then they started asking me questions like, “So what is your range beyond that big belt?”…. Uh oh, what??? I can’t think, I go blank, I have no idea what they are saying or meaning…I stumble through the question thinking, I need to get out of here! This is killing me, my entire body is throbbing and the cold, clammy sweats are coming back. Then they ask the big question…”Can we hear a scale?”…A SCALE!!!! Are you joking, I can’t even stand but ok, compose yourself, you can do this! I mean it’s a major scale for crying out loud! Ok, the pianist plays a G, I start singing probably somewhere around a B/C. No, that’s not right, try again…Nope, not it either. The pianist can see I am struggling at this point so he plays the notes of the scale for me and I just copy. But of course, I am not thinking about how I am singing, I am just thinking about trying to get the notes of a G major scale out of my mouth. So it comes out sounding a little like one of those bad auditions you see on those horrible shows like Idol or something. They can see I am struggling so they let me do it again…Much the same outcome I’m afraid. Then I get one of those, “thanks, that’s all we need to see”, and I’m off.

Now, obviously, I didn’t get the job. Which is a shame, but expected. But this is where I go back to my original question: “to audition, or not to audition”? Would it have been better for me to stay in bed, drink plenty of fluids, pop a couple paracetamol and rest? Probably. But then again, the song was actually pretty good. I mean, I made them laugh and that MUST count for something. And cancelling at the last minute is never good. So, I ask, what would you do?

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